Sarah McClarie
Special to the Bonanza TAHOE-TRUCKEE, Calif. — As parents and caretakers, we are constantly looking after our children’s physical health. Keeping a child healthy seems fairly simple: regular exercise, plenty of rest, visits to the doctor’s office, and preparing balanced, nutritious meals. But are we taking into consideration their mental health as well? Like physical health, it is important that we pay attention to the basics of mental health in our children. We must give it thought, care, and attention. By doing so, we will promote our children’s mental and emotional well-being, and can address potential mental health problems early, through intervention. By helping build a strong foundation of a positive self-esteem so that a child feels secure, can relate to others, and can grow. There are many ways to achieve this, such as providing a child with a safe home, showing them love and respect, and providing them the opportunity to express emotions and feelings. Having trusting relationships with adults and friends is also very important. Teach children the importance of healthy emotions and model your behaviors to match what you are expecting of them. It is essential to keep in mind that there is a biological component to mental health. Even in a healthy, well-adjusted home, a child may experience mental health issues. Acknowledging this may be frightening for parents but just like physical illness, treating mental health problems early may help prevent more serious illnesses from developing in the future. Consulting a professional is a safer step. You know your child’s emotional demeanor best, and when you see noticeable changes, alert your healthcare provider. Some examples of behavior to look out for include: - Social isolation - Self-destructiveness – self or with others - Feelings of anxiety or constant worry - Feelings of excessive anger - Feelings of hopelessness - Frequent nightmares - Avoiding others and wanting to be alone - Inability to concentrate or sit still - Hurting other people or things - Talking about suicide or death - Major changes in sleeping or eating patterns - Losing interest in previous activities - Recklessness - Sudden mood changes By paying attention to mental health in our youth, we are teaching them that it matters. Mental health is just as important as physical health. Sarah McClarie is the facilitator for the Tahoe Truckee Youth Suicide Prevention Coalition. Contact her at [email protected] or by calling 530-582-2560 Sarah McClaire
Special to the Sun TAHOE-TRUCKEE, Calif. — Each day we become more aware of the importance of emotional intelligence, or social emotional learning, to our children, our educators, our parents and everyone. It’s not just important for better grades—it’s needed to create better citizens, families, and personal relationships. Most people understand the critical nature of paying attention to the development of a whole child, and this includes character education. Raising a self-aware child is critical; a self-aware child is a child who knows how to make responsible decisions and how to manage emotions, and he or she recognizes the opportunity to resolve conflict in a non-violent manner. This isn’t just another thing on a parental to-do list, this is something that begins at home and is a constant practice. By creating a trustful and respectful environment, a child is surrounded by support; by modeling behavior that is emotionally intelligent, parents are able to take a step toward developing and nurturing an emotionally intelligent child. Behavior at home is one of the first steps in nurturing an emotionally intelligent child. Beyond the home, children are further taught emotional intelligence at school through character education programs such as Second Step. In grades K-8 throughout the Tahoe Truckee Unified School District, Second Step is integrated throughout all activities. Children are taught from a young age to respect others, vocalize frustrations, and consider alternative solutions to problems. These lessons are taught not only in the classroom but also through interactions with hall monitors, recess duty teachers, and even bus drivers. By constantly engaging our children, we are helping lay the foundation for them to become socially responsible and self-aware citizens. It has been proven that emotionally intelligent individuals live a more fulfilling life, so it’s critical that we provide our children now with the skills to recognize emotions in themselves and others and to feel comfortable in reaching out for support when needed. By teaching children how to cope with the inevitable stressors of life, we are providing them the tools and skills to develop into responsible adults. **NURTURING AN EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT CHILD** Here are some steps you can take at home to nurture an emotionally intelligent child, as well as some additional resources you can use to learn more about social and emotional learning: **Be a Good Listener**: This is a core competency skill and one that so many of us lack. By modeling intentional listening and encouraging our children to do the same we are providing emotional support. **Nurture your Child’s Self-Esteem**: Show your appreciation to your child. A child does better in school and in relationships when they experience a high sense of self-worth. **Take Advantage of Support Services**: Encourage your child to reach out to trusted adults, such as the school counselor or teacher. Your child may not always want to come to you with an issue and encouraging these connections will allow your child to seek support in times of need. **Model Behaviors**: It is important to always think of the impact of our actions on our children. By modeling the behavior we wish to see, we are encouraging our children to develop those behaviors as well. This is essential. For example, displaying empathy to our child’s problems further encourages our children to do the same with their friends and with us. By encouraging social and emotional learning we are teaching our youth that it is OK to express emotions and to reach out for support. Through this encouragement we have the opportunity to close the gap in those situations where children feel there is no support, and instead we create a web of support whether it be through ourselves or other trusted individuals. Supporting the emotional intelligence and growth of our children is a process and takes effort, but is well worth the results. Sarah McClarie is the facilitator for the Tahoe Truckee Youth Suicide Prevention Coalition. Contact her at [email protected] or by calling 530-582-2560. Dr. Amy Vail
Special to the Bonanza TAHOE-TRUCKEE, Calif. — For many people, life can be complicated, isolating, and overwhelming. Add to this puberty, geographic isolation, mood swings, and social media pressures and the results are often turbulent. Many people wonder how they will survive. Robert Frost once said, “The best way out is through.” Everyone on the planet has tough times. Everyone on the planet goes through situations they do not know how they will survive. Everyone asks himself or herself at some point, “What is the point of all of this suffering and how will I make it through this situation?” Many people are familiar with the Victor Frankl quote, “Whatever does not kill me makes me stronger.” There is truth in these words, however, it is not until someone has made it through the suffering that he or she can look back and reflect, “I made it through!” and ask themselves, “What did I learn from that painful experience?” For those of us in the helping professions, we work to help people through the darkest of times, through the moments and hours and weeks and months, sometimes years, when hope is gone and the light at the end of the tunnel is not visible. We keep helping when people do not believe that there is any hope that things will change for the better. Why do we helpers do what we do? We helpers do what we do because we believe that there is hope, and we hold fast to the belief that where there is hope, there is the potential for growth and the potential for positive change. We believe that where there is hope, there is the potential for life, for light, and for love. When people are suffering, they often suffer alone. Knowing that there are people out there who care and who notice the suffering can be enough to decrease the deep sense of loneliness that engulfs the sufferer. People often say, “Who am I to help?” or “What do I have to offer?” If you or someone you know is in a deep and dark place with steep walls, offer them some hope. Let them know you notice and that you care. Often, when people see others suffering they do not know what to do, and out of fear of doing or saying the wrong thing, they freeze and do nothing. As a result, the suffering increases. Instead, take the challenge, and let the people you recognize as struggling know that you see and acknowledge them and that you recognize their suffering and offer them some compassion and help. Compassion is the recognition of suffering, and the desire to do something to alleviate suffering. When we as members of society hold compassion as one of the most important qualities a person can develop, and as a culture work to foster the development of compassion in our members, we will be on the way creating a society built out of the moral fabric that will uplift the masses and eliminate unnecessary suffering. Even if you don’t know what to do, just ask, “How can I help you?” If you or someone you know is struggling, look to the helpers in your world. Look to the caring people in the world who want to help you. Look to those who recognize your suffering, and still have hope that there is a way out of the darkness. Turn to the people who can guide you towards the light. For it is always darkest before the dawn, but the sun does rise in the morning, and April showers bring May flowers. Perseverance can seem and be difficult, but there are those who want to help and who can help. So when times are difficult, look to the helpers. If you or someone you know needs help, please ask for help. There are people in your life you can turn to. There are people who want to help and can help. Reach out. Reach out and take the hand that can help to lift you up. Sorrow and pain and feelings of hopelessness do not have to last forever. Dr. Amy Vail, M.A., Psy.D., is a member of the Tahoe Truckee Youth Suicide Prevention Coalition and a Clinical Psychologist with a private practice in Olympic Valley. Sarah McClarie
Special to the Sun TAHOE-TRUCKEE, Calif. — Why is it that over 60 percent of people with known mental health disorders never seek help from a professional? Stigma, fear, neglect, and discrimination are just some of the reasons those with known disorders do not seek care or treatment. Part of the problem, according to experts, is a lack of sympathy and knowledge about mental health ailments and struggles. Another statistic claims that 25 percent of people with mental health issues need others to be compassionate towards them. This is a sad statistic, especially considering that approximately 25 percent of our population has experienced a form of mental illness. Knowing that mental health disorders and mental illnesses are out of our control, what can we do to better address the issue and allow those struggling with these issues to feel comfortable reaching out for support? We wouldn’t criticize someone’s control over their health when it comes to cancer or the flu, so why do we criticize and create such stigmas around mental illness? To adults, childhood can seem like a carefree time, but youth still experience stress. Experts have cited that part of the problem when it comes to criticizing someone’s mental health is a lack of empathy and knowledge about the ailments. Specifically when it comes to youth, we claim “it’s just a phase” or “they’ll grow out of it.” The truth is mental health issues will not go away if they are ignored. They will become worse. Mental health issues are real and can affect people at any age. Youth that do not receive treatment or support for mental illness can end up having problems in school, with friends, with addictions, and even with the law. The earlier we are able to support someone in their mental wellness through treatment, the easier it will be to break the cycle of stigma and fear around mental health. When we talk about these issues with our youth we normalize them and make them feel safe in discussing these issues that are experienced by a quarter of our population. Even with friends and family around, someone experiencing emotional pain or suicidal thoughts can feel isolated. Recently, NAMI (the National Alliance on Mental Illness) released startling figures regarding mental illness and youth. Did you know that only 50 percent of youth with mental illness will receive treatment? That youth age 14 and up are 50 percent more likely to drop out of school? And more startling, that 90 percent of youth that commit suicide have an underlying mental illness? These statistics are frightening to read but more importantly they can serve to remind us how scary it is to let mental health disorders remain untreated. Parents—talk to your kids. Intervening and letting them know you are there for support and are not afraid to hear their struggles can be the support needed to allow your child to receive medical help. It’s OK to be nervous and intimidated to have this conversation. What really matters is that you have it; that you talk to your kids and that you support them. READ MORE: Please visit suicideispreventable.org to learn more about the signs, and the words, and how to reach out. Talking to your children about suicide will not put the idea in their head but will rather show them you are willing to go there with them and have that scary talk, that you are there to support them. Sarah McClarie is the facilitator for the Tahoe Truckee Youth Suicide Prevention Coalition. Contact her at [email protected] or by calling 530-582-2560 Sarah McClarie
Special to the Bonzana TAHOE-TRUCKEE, Calif. — To adults, childhood can seem like a carefree time, but youths still experience stress. Things like school and social lives can at times create pressures that can feel overwhelming to adolescents. As a parent, you cannot protect your kids from stress but you can help them develop healthy ways to cope with stress and solve everyday issues. Youth deal with stress in both healthy and unhealthy ways. While they may not initiate a conversation about what is bothering them, they do want their parents to reach out and help them cope with their problems. It is not always easy for parents to know what to do for their children if they are feeling stressed. Here are a few ideas: NOTICE OUT LOUD Tell them when you notice that something is bothering them. Put a name to the feeling you think they are experiencing. This should not sound like an accusation; it is just a casual observation that you are interested in hearing more about your child’s emotions. Be sympathetic and show you care and want to understand. For example, instead of saying “What happened next? You’re still mad about that?” try a more open response such as “It sounds like you’re still upset about what happened at lunch.” LISTEN TO YOUR CHILD Ask them to talk to you about what is wrong. Listen attentively and calmly—with interest, patience, openness, and caring. Avoid any urge to judge, lecture, or say what you think they should have done. The idea is to let their concerns and emotions be heard. COMMENT BRIEFLY Comment briefly on the feelings you think your child was experiencing. For example, you might say, “that must have been upsetting,” “I understand why you felt mad,” or “that must have seemed unfair to you.” READ MORE: Even with friends and family around, someone experiencing emotional pain or suicidal thoughts can feel isolated. This demonstrates that you have empathy and understand what they felt, why, and that you care. Feeling heard and understood helps them feel supported in times of stress. PUT A LABEL ON IT Many adolescents do not have words yet for their emotions. If your child seems angry or sad, use those specific words to help them learn to identify those emotions by name. Putting feelings into words will help kids communicate and develop emotional awareness—the ability to recognize their personal emotional state. JUST BE THERE Kids do not always feel like talking about what is bothering them. That is OK—be patient. Let your child know you will be there. Even when kids do not want to talk, they usually do not want their parents to leave them alone. You can help your child feel better simply by just being there—keeping him company, spending time together. If you notice your child is having a bad day and does not want to talk, go for a walk with them, bake cookies, or go for a car ride. Initiate something you can do together. Studies have shown that driving or walking with your teen are effective ways to help you both open up. TAKE ADVANTAGE OF LOCAL SUPPORT North Tahoe High, Truckee High, and Sierra High have Wellness Centers on campus providing a resource for peer support groups, referrals to outside support, or simply a relaxing place to hang out. “What is Up?” Wellness Checks are available to any high school students. These anonymous checkups provide the opportunity to check in with teens and open the line of communication around mental health and wellness. Parents cannot solve every problem their adolescent has; however, by teaching healthy coping strategies you will prepare your kids to manage the stresses that come in the future. READ MORE: Please visit suicideispreventable.org to learn more about the signs, find the words, and how to reach out. Just as important as recognizing the inability to solve every problem is the ability to ask for help in parenting when needed. How a child feels should always outweigh how one is viewed as a parent. The best thing a parent can do for their youth is to be less in commitment to getting their child’s emotional needs met. For more information on the “What is Up?” Wellness free and anonymous checkups visit http://www.whatsupwellness.comorhttp://www.ttusd.org.Forfurtherresourcesaboutchildbehavior, health, and development visit http://www.kidshealth.org. —Sarah McClarie is the facilitator for the Tahoe Truckee Youth Suicide Prevention Coalition. Contact her at [email protected] or by calling 530-582-2560. Sarah McClarie
Special to the Sun TAHOE-TRUCKEE, Calif. — Even with friends and family around, someone experiencing emotional pain or suicidal thoughts can feel isolated. You may sense something is wrong, but not realize how serious it is. Warning signs — like withdrawal, depression or hopelessness — though subtle, may be present. Trust your instincts. Find the words and reach out. By recognizing these signs, knowing how to start a conversation and where to turn for help, you have the power to make a difference — the power to save a life. This simple message is the main premise of California’s Know the Signs Campaign, a campaign initiated in 2011 to reduce instances of suicide and connect individuals with local resources. The Know The Signs Campaign is part of a statewide effort to prevent suicide, reduce stigma and discrimination related to mental illness, and promote the mental health and wellness of students. It’s intended to educate individuals on how to help prevent suicide by encouraging them to know suicide-warning signs, find the words to offer help, and reach out to local resources. The Tahoe Truckee Youth Suicide Prevention Coalition has chosen this educational campaign as a main focus for prevention strategies. By empowering individuals to recognize the warning signs of suicide, our community is more effective at connecting the individuals who are experiencing depression or mental illness with local resources. While children may not be the best at verbally expressing emotions, there are common symptoms of depression that present themselves, allowing gatekeepers in a child’s life to recognize emotional concerns. Some common symptoms include: loss of energy, insomnia, fatigue, persistent aches or pains, feelings of worthlessness, feelings of helplessness, restlessness, drug abuse, and excessive alcohol consumption. Once signs of depression or suicidal ideation are recognized, it can be difficult to begin the conversation. Knowing how to start a conversation is critical, and addressing the issue rather than avoiding it can save a life. By appropriately approaching the conversation and providing support, we can connect those in need with local resources. Please visit suicideispreventable.org to learn more about the signs, find the words, and how to reach out. To reach the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline call 1-800-273-8255 and in a medical emergency always dial 911. Sarah McClarie is the facilitator for the Tahoe Truckee Youth Suicide Prevention Coalition. Contact her at [email protected] or by calling 530-582-2560 |
Categories
All
Archives
June 2024
|
|